As I previously mentioned, while the ride that was Smash 4's pre-release was great, it could also be a pretty shitty environment and a lot of the time I was no exception. I could be a pretty pretentious little snot about Smash. Whilst I never claimed to be absolutely perfect and to know exactly what was going on in Sakurai's head,
And what a nice head that was. Sick haircut mate.
I could be really obnoxious and shut out the ideas of others if they didn't fit my mold of how I thought Smash worked.
This is a whole can of worms I plan on getting to. Just like the bad fanfic.
To better understand my point of view, you'll need to know some of the key points of my little thesis (pictured above). So, here we go:
- Only main characters permitted onto the roster. This helps keep "irrelevant" (Smash 4 is where my love for this word came from I swear) characters like Geno, Waluigi, Daisy (lots of Mario characters, huh?) out of the game and from cluttering the roster.
- Building off of this, characters are added in order of importance.
- Mario -> Luigi -> Peach -> Bowser (No Waluigi).
- Pit -> Palutena (No Magnus/Phosphora/Viridi).
- Kirby -> Meta Knight -> The Great King Dedede™ (No Gooey/Bandana Dee).
- Fox -> Falco -> Wolf (No Krystal)
- Samus...Samus (no characters from Prime Hunters/Corruption). So stop asking for Shadow, Lucina, Daisy, Fawful, Sylux, Rundas, Lyndis etc. because they're NOT happening before other main characters!
- Third-party characters have to have some sort of tie to Nintendo (except Pac-Man. He's my dad (not daddy, stop) and the (second-)most iconic gaming character ever. Let Him In). Snake is an exception*, but look at Sonic and Mega Man. Sonic actually managed to go toe-to-toe with Nintendo during their heyday and Mega Man was a defining early Nintendo/gaming icon. Both of them are also extremely popular. So stop asking for characters like Rayman, Spyro, Klonoa, Bayonetta, Lloyd etc. because they're NOT happening!
- Characters from irrelevant franchises don't stand a chance. Sorry Saki/Issac fans but, say it with me guys: they-are-NOT-happening!
- This also includes dead Nintendo franchises like Mother/F-Zero, so stop asking for Ninten, Jeff, Black Shadow and Samurai Gorah.
- This however, DOESN'T include retro series (which are so dead they're cool) like Murasame Castle (cite Mr. Game & Watch/R.O.B.) and characters from earlier Smash games whose franchises have died/moved on like Lucas/Wolf/Roy.
Through the rose-tinted goggles of these 'rules', I was able to see Sakurai as a genius. On top of creating one of my favorite Nintendo franchise (Kirby), he's also created Smash and kept it pristine, pure, and the bestest thing ever! I mean, clearly he's the best thing ever and as such you wouldn't be too hard-pressed to find me defending him from criticism; valid or not. Truly, I was a king of the hill, residing on the top surrounded by Smash's greatness. But as we all know, the tumble down can be a pretty harsh when you find your crown (and by extent your spirit) shattered.