- Giggles: Clown's Street Smart Cousin
- Louiz: Clown's Great Aunt Who Blew Her Retirement Funds and Has To Work At Birthday Parties
- Bizarro: Clown's Alternate Dimension Counterpart, An Absolute Madman and One of Clown's Most Powerful Enemies
- Peter: Clown's Fat Uncle Who's Into Bad Tasteless Humor
- Krusty: Clown's Famous Jewish Cousin
- Cheapy: Clown's Bastard Uncle Who Is A Complete And Utter Cheapskate
- Estranged Father: Clown's No Good Father Who Refuses To Pay Child Support Kong
- Donalt: Clown's Great Uncle Who Roams Australia And Beats The Shit Out Of People Who Go To Hungry Jacks'
- Baffo: Clown's Civil Rights Seeking Second Cousin Who Wishes To Prove To The World That Not All Clowns Are Bad
- Tearaway: Clown's Fat Cousin and the son of Peter. Has a tearaway face and can teleport. Also a Sony fan.
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